I'm sitting here, at my computer, trying to come up with something to write. It's not going very well. Whatever I think of, seems like empty words nowadays. The last month has been a rollercoaster of emotions, fuelled by ever changing governmental protocols, ridiculously hilarious memes and tens of thousands of people loosing their lives due to the virus. One minute you laugh, the other you are tearing up.
On the plus side, because the silver lining gives us hope, most of us gets to spend a lot of time with our families. We finally get to see our husbands and children, something we have been promising ourselves to do more of. For some it's a blessing, for others - a huge eye opener and grounds for change.
We have all this time now and yet, I find myself not as productive as I thought I would be. Observing social media posts and videos, in which people seem to thrive in enlightenment of the higher message, I keep catching myself thinking, the pandemic is nearing the end and I have not really accomplished much. This push for productivity is really strong, you are supposed to change your life, you have the opportunity now, you are to meditate and exercise, join care sites to help others, donate to local businesses. I feel almost as if I am wasting this opportunity of growth on cooking, homeschooling and laundry. Some days I just breathe.
In the midst of any crisis we find ourselves going back to the most basic function, which is survival. The most important function which is very deeply imbedded in our DNA. That includes a safe dwelling, food and keeping the danger at bay. Therefore I feel as if I have switched my attention from personal growth to the well being and protection of my family. They need to be fed, their vitamins taken, wash their hands, drink herbal teas, wear clean clothing, fibre intake, school work done... and on and on. As if all those actions would guarantee their lives would be happy and healthy. Well, at the moment I would like to believe it is true.
I did not realize until this situation came upon us how much I enjoy solitude. I miss it now. I understand it is a rather insensitive thing to say when there are so many people spending this lockdown by themselves, longing for someone, anyone, to be with. It is so true that we usually long for circumstances that are unavailable to us at the moment. I am grateful I am together with my husband and children, I would not have it any other way.
My thoughts and my heart goes out to those who are home by themselves, not able to go out, not able to touch or be touched by another. To those who lost their loved ones. To those trapped in abusive households. To those who lost their businesses and jobs. The damage this situation has brought on is tremendous and still not yet finalized.
I remain grateful. For things we usually take for granted. For the roof over my head, some of us do not have this luxury. For the food in my fridge and the meals I am capable of making, lots of people go hungry every day regardless the crisis. For mine and my Family's health, there are so many illnesses in the world. I am grateful and mindful, I am one of the lucky ones.
Stay safe everyone.
Love Peace Light
